Fashion Roadkill

I tend to get asked to do lots of things by the girls here in the dorm. Take me and my roomie to Wal-Mart? Sure. Buy a raffle ticket? Okay, fine. Supervise our campfire and S'mores night? Of course! So in that spirit, I will find myself in a fashion show Saturday night. It is for a very good cause, and it is a good initiation to humiliate myself with some other faculty members.

I got to go to a somewhat snooty store yesterday to pick out my outfit to wear (I don't get to keep it). I was such a doofus. According to the store girls, nothing that I chose really matched ("That shirt is way to formal for those pants"). They seemed kind of incredulous that I had chosen some things to try on together. Did they not see the jeans and clogs I was wearing when I came into the store? I think my fashion inexperience should have been pretty easy to peg. I felt kind of like when Julia Roberts goes into that boutique in the Pretty Woman. They didn't treat me like I was a hooker or anything, but they knew I wasn't going to be actually buying any of the things I was trying on. (The only image I could find was from Vivian's triumphant "Big Mistake. HUGE. I have to go shopping now" scene. But we all remember how she felt when they wouldn't help her the day before.)


I finally chose a dress that is very cute. They did try to accessorize it with a necklace that made me feel kind of like Betty Rubble. They did not like that joke, by the way. But I would like to thank the store for their vanity sizing. The dress that I am going to be wearing is a size 0. Yes, a z-e-r-o. If it were a form fitting skirt of pair of pants though, it would have to up-size considerably for my woman-hips. And that 0 really means that my chestular area is far from ample. Oh well, at least I didn't feel bad as I noshed on more of those damn Thin Mints last night.